It started as a feeling, a feeling that I have had more than once before. A feeling that I really, really wanted to start my own blog. A feeling that built up over days, weeks, months while I did absolutely nothing about it. I don't have much time for my own pursuits, but if starting my blog was really that important to me I would have made time for it, right? Wrong.
You see, I am just as busy now as I was during the days, weeks, and months that I hid behind the excuse of being "too busy" to start my blog. Over the past few days, I have been recieving anonymous tips from none other than the Universe itself that are practically hitting me over the head (with a pillow, in a joking manner) as if to say, "Just start the blog already, enough with the excuses". For example, on Monday, I went to the park with my two boys. There was no one there when we arrived, so I suggested to D, who is three and a half, that we might as well get our grocery shopping out of the way and come back to the park later. He told me in no uncertain terms that he wanted to play at the park, even if no other children were there. He then told me that there would be other children there very soon. Smart kid. As we were getting out of the car, two other vehicles pulled in to the parking lot. Now, there were other kids for the boys to play with. As an added bonus, one of the moms was someone whom I have known for a long time, and the other was someone whom I had recently met. Of course, we all got to talking while we watched/cheered on/assisted the kiddos on the play structures. Anyways, my point is that at points during the conversation, my friend mentioned that I really should start a blog. That was a very meaningful compliment, and I am not quite so sure that she knows just how much it means to hear someone say that.
Anyways, we were sharing funny mommy stories and eventually all of the kids wanted to go down to the river and throw rocks into it. We obliged, and followed the kiddos down to the water. While we were down there, I noticed that one of my other friends was arriving at the park with her son. One family left, and the rest of us went around to the other side of the bridge to a beach so that the boys could play with squirt guns. As they played, I chatted with the other two moms and we had some great philosophical discussions regarding parenting. I came away from that conversation feeling like we all have a lot in common, and even more importantly that I truly do have some very strong beliefs and values that guide my parenting.
Later that evening, I was reading my favorite blogs. I love to read blogs for the information, and more importantly for the inspiration. As I read some of the older posts from The Orange Rhino Challenge, one of the posts tugged at my heartstrings so much that I started to cry. There it was, in words, a description of the fear that has been holding me back from starting my blog. The fear of not being good enough. I have struggled with "not good enough" since childhood, and it has probably been holding me back from being all kinds of awesome. Identifying the fear and seeing that I am not the only one who sometimes feels "not good enough" was a step in the right direction. However, it was not until about a half hour later that I had that defining moment where I realized that I could not put off starting my blog any longer. I was reading Momastery, another one of my favorite blogs, and as I read Glennon's post, "What's Your Thing", the Universe just about knocked me off of my chair with the aforementioned pillow. My THING is writing. My THING is being me. More importantly, my THING is being me while writing. Blogging. It does not matter whether anyone likes the things that I write, or even likes me, for that matter. What I write is my truth, and through the process of writing it I set myself free. Free of that fear of being "not good enough", and free from the countless other things that try to drag me down.
It took more than a couple of blatantly obvious "signs" from the Universe to get me to where I am right now, seated at my dining room table, writing my first blog post as Green Mountain Momma.Please join me as I continue to do my THING, blogging about my passions - parenting, nature, and following a paleo diet and lifestyle. Oh, and funny stuff. Did I mention the funny stuff? I am sure that there will be plenty of funny stuff on here, because life has a sense of humor. Thank you so much for stopping by!